If you were to ask someone why men and women deal with stress differently, you might be met with some old stereotypes, tropes, or even a joke or two. We can tease each other about handling stress in certain ways, but there’s actually more science to it than you might think.
Yes, men and women are “wired” differently. Beyond that, however, how we handle stress has a lot to do with societal norms and expectations.
With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at why men and women handle stress differently. As you start to better understand some of these factors, you might start looking at stress responses differently when it comes to your closest male and female friends.
The “Fight or Flight” Issue
Most people understand the basics of “fight or flight” when it comes to a stressful situation. However, research has shown that men are far more likely to use one of these as an actual mechanism for dealing with stress.
Have you ever felt tense or had to deal with a pounding heart when dealing with a stressful situation? Both men and women experience an influx of hormones when they’re stressed. Those involuntary physical responses are the result of those hormones.
Men tend to deal with those responses by either “fighting back” against whatever might be causing the stress or letting their mood turn into frustration, causing them to walk away without really dealing with the problem.
Why Women Differ
Women experience the same rush of hormones during stressful situations. However, their response is often different thanks to another hormone secretion—oxytocin.
When women are stressed, more oxytocin tends to get released into the brain. This hormone is responsible for feelings of calm and tranquility. That often makes it easier for women to manage their stress in healthier ways. They talk about their feelings, reach out for help as needed, and tend to turn to friends and family for support.
A lot of how women respond to stress has to do with the general nature of what it means to be a woman. Things like pregnancy and childcare tend to make women more empathetic and nurturing. They’re more likely to stick with those characteristics when things are difficult and overwhelming.
Is There a “Right” Way to Deal With Stress?
Stress is inevitable. Some of it can even be a positive thing. But, when it starts to feel overwhelming, it’s essential to address it as quickly as possible.
Emotions always demand to be felt, and if you run away from them or try to avoid them, they could end up becoming even stronger. Unfortunately, that’s often where men can get “stuck.” The “flight” response can end up causing stress to escalate. However, using the “fight” response can often be beneficial and perhaps something more women should lean into, too.
Most importantly, it’s necessary to understand these differences when it comes to friendships and relationships. For example, if your male partner tends to want to be alone when they’re going through a stressful situation, understand the nature of it and give them some space. If your female partner needs to be by you and experience comforting touch, understand why.
There’s no “ideal” way to deal with stress. As long as you’re addressing the issue and working through it, do what works for you. By understanding that we’re made to handle things differently, you can spend less time worrying about how the people in your life deal with stress and more time focusing on healthy ways to work through your own.
That includes reaching out for help if necessary. Stress doesn’t ever have to overwhelm you. If you’re having a hard time handling it on your own, consider talking to a mental health professional. We would love to talk to you, no matter if you are a man or woman about how to handle your stress better. Reach out to learn more about anxiety therapy.